Being a teenager
The teenage years can be a challenging time for both you and your child.
Your child is growing up and becoming more independent. Their body, brain and emotions are changing. They may want more privacy and spend more time with friends. They might seem distant, easily upset or less interested in family activities.
These changes are a normal part of growing up, but they can be difficult for families to manage. Support is available if you need help.
Understanding puberty and adolescence
Puberty and adolescence are a normal part of growing up. They usually start between the ages of 8 and 14, but every young person develops at their own pace.
Puberty is when a young person’s body starts to change into an adult body. There is also health information for young people, who may want to find out more, but are too embarrassed to ask. Changes can include:
- breast development
- periods starting
- body and facial hair growing
- changes in height and shape
Some young people may find the physical changes of puberty more challenging because of sensory differences, a disability, a long-term health condition or additional needs. For information about body changes, personal care, sensory needs and practical support during puberty.
Adolescence is about more than physical changes. A young person’s brain is also developing. During this time, they learn how to make decisions, manage emotions and become more independent.
Many teenagers are also working out who they are and where they fit in. They may try different styles, hobbies or friendship groups. Social media, school and relationships can add extra pressure. You can find guidance and laws on tattoos and piercing here.
Some young people may struggle with their mental health during these years. Getting support early can help.
There are also some good resources for parents on the family lives website.
Teenagers need boundaries
Teenagers want more freedom as they grow older. This is a normal part of becoming independent.
However, they still need clear rules and guidance from trusted adults. They may not always make safe or sensible choices.
Setting clear boundaries helps young people to:
- understand expectations
- stay safe
- learn responsibility
- make good decisions
Your teenager may not always agree with your rules, but they still need your support and guidance.
Discipline for Teenagers is a short video with ideas about how parents might manage these situations.
Teenagers need to be listened to
Young people want to feel heard and respected.
Listening to your teenager helps them feel valued and supported. It can also make it easier for them to talk to you when they need help. [somerset.gov.uk]
You do not have to agree with everything they say. What matters is showing that their thoughts and feelings are important.
Taking time to listen can help build trust and strengthen your relationship.
You can find parental help and advice on the Young Minds website
Sexuality support
As teenagers grow up, they may have questions about relationships, sexuality and identity.
Support and advice are available for young people, parents and carers. 2BU Somerset offers information, guidance and support for LGBTQ+ young people and the adults who care for them.
Drugs and alcohol
Drugs and alcohol can be difficult topics to talk about.
Having open and honest conversations can help your young person stay safe and make informed choices.
Support is available from trusted organisations:
- YoungMinds provides information for young people about drugs and alcohol.
- NSPCC provides advice for parents and carers on how to start conversations about drugs and alcohol.
- Our preparing for adult life section of the Local Offer includes pages on smoking and vaping, alcohol and drugs which all include easy read guides.