A Somerset kinship carer who stepped in to raise her 2 great-granddaughters after a family tragedy says the experience has brought joy, purpose, and plenty of adventures to her life.
At 74, Valerie never expected to find herself parenting again, but today her days are filled with school runs, football matches, PTA events, and even the occasional sports day race.
As part of Kinship Care Week, running from 5 to 11 October, Valerie is sharing her story to highlight the important but often invisible role kinship carers play in our communities.
Kinship care is when a child who cannot live with their parents is cared for by a relative or family friend. Like foster care, it provides children with a safe and stable home, but with someone they already know and trust. Kinship care helps children remain connected to their family, friends, school and community, providing stability and continuity during what can be one of the most difficult periods of their lives.
For several years, Valerie’s great-granddaughters were cared for by their grandmother, Vicky, under an informal kinship arrangement when their parents were unable to care for them. When Vicky’s health deteriorated, Valerie moved into the family’s small flat to support her daughter and help care for the girls, sleeping on the sofa so they could all stay together.
Life changed dramatically when Vicky died suddenly. Overnight, Valerie found herself not only grieving the loss of her daughter but also becoming the girls’ primary carer. Alongside supporting the children through their loss, she was faced with practical worries about finances, housing and managing a household she had not previously been responsible for running. Valerie says the support she received from Somerset Council’s Kinship Team was invaluable, helping her navigate one of the most difficult periods of her life:
I wouldn’t have got through those first few months without them. They wrapped me in a warm blanket and sorted everything out for me. They helped me with the finances, the paperwork and knowing what to do next when I felt completely on my own and overwhelmed.
Despite the challenges that can come with raising children later in life, Valerie says she wouldn’t change it for the world:
My life has been so enriched by the girls. Last year I even took part in the mums’ race at school. I didn’t win, I’m 74, but I didn’t come last either.
I’m on the PTA I help out with dance performances, football and all the things that come with family life. I meet other parents, the girls have friends over and I’m involved in their lives every day.
Like many kinship carers, Valerie says one of the most valuable things has been connecting with others who understand the realities of raising a child in similar circumstances. She has been part of local kinship support groups and says the friendships, advice, and encouragement she has received have made a real difference:
One of the most important things is knowing you’re not alone. Everyone’s story is the same but different, often people are stepping in due to tragedy and loss, and there is a level of understanding that comes from speaking to people who have lived through similar experiences.
Families are so important. If children can’t live with their parents, being able to stay with people they know and trust can make all the difference. Keeping those family connections matters.
Somerset Council supports kinship families across the county and works with carers to help children remain safely connected to their wider family network wherever possible.
Councillor Heather Shearer, Somerset Council’s Lead Member for Children’s Services, said:
Whenever it is safe and appropriate, we want children to remain within their families with people they know and love.
Kinship carers like Valerie play a vital role in providing children with stability, security, and a sense of belonging, which is so important for children, particularly during difficult periods in their lives.
The commitment of Valerie and all our kinship carers helps children maintain important family connections and, in many cases, prevents them from needing to enter foster care.
Kinship Care Week is an opportunity to recognise the dedication of kinship carers and thank them for the difference they make every day.
For Valerie, the rewards of kinship care can be found in the everyday moments, from school activities and family holidays to hearing the laughter of the children and their friends filling the house:
I’ve gained 2 wonderful girls. They’ve brought so much joy into my life. It’s not always easy, but we laugh a lot and we’re making memories together. That’s what matters.
There are challenges, of course. Your life changes completely and you don’t always know what lies ahead. But seeing them grow, laugh and thrive makes it all worthwhile.
To find out more about kinship care or foster care, and the support available in Somerset, visit fosteringinsomerset.org.uk.
